I'm gonna level with ya...
Things get crazy. Unbearable even. And no matter who you are or what it is you're going through at this moment in time, it seems like it's the end of the world. Even though we know it's not. Like I said from the very beginning, each of us fights our own battles. Not one more "devastating" than the other. I set out to bring you experiences-- good or bad. So this? This right here? I'm dealing with some bad.
I get it, you know? Life is tough. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but that is the understatement of the CENTURY. Life is more than tough. Life is a zombie-apocalypse-lost-my-job-have-no-car-no-one-cares-dog-ate-my-homework-tornado-took-my-house kind of thing...
People applaud you for making progress but they don't see the bigger picture. They don't see the things we feel. You wake up begging to fall asleep again because another day feeling broken would just kill you. The minute you finally do get out of bed, you look in the mirror and feel so enraged at the person staring back. Some days you go out into the world with just the slightest bit of courage but your anxiety bites you in the butt and you feel like everyone is judging you, even though almost everyone you see is a complete stranger. You want to feel useful but you feel like you're just getting in the way. You want to make the effort but you don't have the energy. You want to be happy but you can't stop feeling bad for no reason.
But there are okay days amongst these horrible ones.
I guess all I'm trying to say is... It's okay that the only thing you did today was get out of bed. Maybe it means you took a few steps back in your progress. These kinds of days happen. And that's something that comes with being mentally unstable. We breakdown. We collapse. We get overwhelmed. Sometimes we fall right back into where we were at the start of our journey to getting better.
I want to motivate you to be the best you can be. But at the same time, I want to be honest & realistic. I want you to know that having days like these makes you human. If I could kick it with you and watch some movies or just talk and hang out, I'd be there in a heartbeat. No use in being sad alone so we can be sad together haha. We need a break. People may not see this, but you and I? We have a full-time job. Watching ourselves and making sure we don't slip is hard to do. And it gets pretty exhausting if you ask me.
I'm there right now. It's nothing to be upset over. Things were okay for a little bit, but somehow I got knocked down again. Back to square one. Take the time you need. Do something for yourself. Read a book. Light a candle. Listen to feel-good music. Keep it easy and stressless.
People applaud us for the progress we make, but quickly make it seem like it's our own fault when we fall short. I'm not trying to be the optimist by giving you obnoxious advice on how to turn that frown upside down. Or be the pessimist by telling you life sucks and it's never going to get better.
I'm simply telling you that today is just one of those days. Which you're allowed to have. And I'm right there with you. It's a sucky day, not a sucky life. So if you need the company, don't be afraid to shout. I mean, I'm pretty messed up too so I may not be the one you want to have around when you're feeling down. But hey, I'll be there.